As the whole world is witnessing the war between Russia and Ukraine, it has been a heavy and heartbreaking experience for all Russian and Ukrainians, whether in the country or overseas. However, I am not going to report to you what is currently happening. I am not that source, but as the events go on I will be a source of and for the Russian and Ukrainian people.
My name is Nikola Buis. I am one of your Spring 2022 Prospectus reporters as a first-year student. I will be sharing my experience as an American of Russian descent, a Russian-American, or a person from Russia who is living in America.
My mother is of Yakuts descendant, a Turkic ethnic group who mainly live in the Republic of Sakha, also known mostly as Yakutia today. Despite my mother’s different upbringing as a Yakut woman and person, I was still exposed and raised under Yakut and Russian culture. My mother continues to encourage me to stay in touch to my Yakut and Russian heritage, from language to food, to keep it alive in our bloodline.
I was born in uptown Chicago in 1999, 2 years after my mother successfully immigrated to the United States to be reunited with my father. I was also born 1 year after my mother’s first pregnancy that turned into an unfortunate miscarriage. I was her miracle baby and she cherished me to the core. My childhood consisted of what I call “very Russian girl activities,” listing from ballet, rhythmic gymnastics, and figure skating. I also was a studious child who yearned to learn about new things. My curiosity led me to my mother letting me learn the piano, chess, and painting. There were difficult days that came along with what I needed to do and wanted to do as a Russian child. However, my mother instilled a handful of true Russian traditions, beliefs, morals, and values into me that I still carry with me as of today.
I am serving in the Illinois Air National Guard at the 183d Wing located in Springfield and am training under Detachment 190’s Air Force Officers’ Reserve Training Corps. I aspire to do service to show my gratitude to the United States for the safety and opportunity that they allowed and gave to my family from escaping war and aftermaths of war.
Over the course of the last few days, Russia has been attacking Ukraine. It reminds my mother of the Soviet Union era, which everyone remembers to be brutal and ruthless. As whom I am, serving for and living in America, it has been a dragging anxious battle about my identity and what my fellow team and friends think what my identity is. I am proud to be American, but do I have to be ashamed to also be Russian in order to be a proud American? I truly am having an identity crisis within my service life and my social life. With the Russian-Ukrainian war as an event that has newly transpired, I unfortunately do not yet have an answer to my question, and it will be a long time coming that I do have my answers granted to me.
What is worse for me is that whenever I face my Ukrainian and Ukrainian-American friends over the span of these few days, I have gotten on my knees and could only apologize and cry on their shoulders for forgiveness. Unfortunately, America and the world are just learning that it is not Russia that wants war with Ukraine. It is Putin who wants war with Ukraine. The biggest and most successful lie of the Kremlin’s propaganda is that most Russians stand with Putin.
I am terrified for the safety and well-being of myself, my mother and family, my fellow Russians, and my Ukrainian friends. I ask my team and friends not to agree with me but to understand me.
No more war.
Glory to Ukraine.
Freedom for Russia.