Welcome back Cobras! For many, this marks the beginning of a new chapter. For some, this is the beginning of the end. One thing is certain for all, it is back-to-school season! Here are some tips and tricks to help you out this school year.
1. Party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop wasting your money on all those textbooks you never read and your time on those damn classes where I guess you go over something called “content”??? Get a grip, take a trip to Joe’s, and take back your life.
2. Study.. sometimes
Give it your all!! Or don’t, it probably won’t make that much of a difference anyway.
3. Make new friends
One of the many great things about Parkland is our diversity. You can find any type of person in this place, which is exactly why it is important you pick wisely.
4. Get to know your professors
If that last tip didn’t seem to help much this is a great alternative. If you see your professor in the hall – heck even in the bathroom – don’t be afraid to spark up a conversation, your professors are guaranteed to appreciate it. Just don’t bring up how their political stance and religious beliefs greatly bias the content in your class if you want a good grade.
5. Find a favorite bathroom
You will need to find the perfect spot for your inevitable mental breakdowns! Or for whatever else you use the bathroom for…
6. Do not overshare
This article is supposed to be “satire” right? But this is not. I don’t know how people still don’t know where the line is on “Do I share” or “Do I not share”. Like if you have a cute story about your puppy, that’s fine, but don’t take time out of the class to tell us a story you should have told your therapist last session.
7. Be realistic
Life is already hard enough, so why set yourself up to be disappointed? It’s time to accept that you go to a community college for a reason.